An Angel in the TARDIS
I am the angel of the second hour of Friday. I have been on earth for a thousand years, and now I am travailing with an alien who is from the north of his planet. Of course every planet has a north.


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bluandorange:

bluandorange:

okay but can you imagine like

a week after your truck gets stolen out of the goddamn mall parking lot, you get a knock on the door and there’s fucking Captain America standing there. Says he’s here about your goddamn truck. And for a moment you wonder if…

2 hours ago on April 20th, 2014 | J | 3,030 notes
14 hours ago on April 19th, 2014 | J | 1,419 notes
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dodie-snk:

HE’S SO STUPID HE CAN’T SCRATCH HIMSELF WITHOUT FALLING DOWN THAT’S CUTE

1 day ago on April 19th, 2014 | J | 20,426 notes

latenightalaska:

jhameia:

whiny-sugar-glider:

creepylurker:

they want to go fishing but ICE

bald eagles look grumpy on their best days but this is grumpy waddling and it is amazing

he walks over to the others in the last gif like “man this lake fucking sucks”

1 day ago on April 19th, 2014 | J | 71,753 notes
onlylolgifs:

The kid in the back feelin it

I didn’t see that was a tooth brush, and thought Barney and friends were off to kill a bitch…

onlylolgifs:

The kid in the back feelin it

I didn’t see that was a tooth brush, and thought Barney and friends were off to kill a bitch…

1 day ago on April 19th, 2014 | J | 182,394 notes
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intoxifaded:

ghosthost:

Watching this cute video can help raise money for other cute dogs. Seems like a good deal to me!

make this viral

2 days ago on April 17th, 2014 | J | 15,456 notes

My visit to get screened for cancer:

Nurse: "Sorry your boyfriend couldn't wait for you in the waiting room, it makes women feel uncomfortable."
Me: "He wasn't my boyfriend and I don't see how it would make them uncomfortable, but that's my opinion. He was here for moral support. I understood, and so does he."
Nurse: "So he's your...."
Me: "Friend."
Nurse: (During the question asking) "How many sexual partners have you had?"
Me: "11."
Nurse: "How old were you when you first became sexually active?"
Me: "....Loaded question but....14, I guess."
Nurse: "You're sexually active, then."
Me: "Well....I guess...but..."
Nurse: "How many times have you been pregnant?"
Me: "Uh. 0."
Nurse: "O...kayy...-Checks 'condoms' as my preferred use of birth control-"
Me: "I don't use condoms. Or take birth control."
Nurse: "Then how do you avoid getting pregnant?"
Me: "With homosexuality."
Nurse:
Me:
Nurse:
Me: "I fuck girls."
2 days ago on April 17th, 2014 | J | 307,372 notes

The first two are my old glasses, the rest are my new glasses from Zenni!

2 days ago on April 17th, 2014 | J | 5 notes

visenyatargaryyen:

laughtercues:

kingjohnkat:

redphonebox:

just so we’re clear, i use

dude

bro

man

gurl

babe

bby

loser

as gender-neutral and affectionate names

don’t forget son

What am I forgetting dad

image

You have forgotten who you are, and so forgotten me.

2 days ago on April 17th, 2014 | J | 470,862 notes

thetindog:

theladthatlived:

georgesus:

"He’s a little fighter. He kind of, he wriggles around quite a lot.” - Prince William

its like when you take dogs out of water and they carry on swimming

MOTHER, UNHAND ME, I HAVE A COUNTRY TO GOVERN

2 days ago on April 17th, 2014 | J | 291,779 notes